Our Goals

People who come to therapy often make the mistake of thinking it is about creating a “New You.” I disagree. Therapy for me is about you becoming the person you were meant to be before unhelpful interruptions got in the way. These interruptions, which are more colloquially referred to as “blocks” might be swallowed beliefs from childhood which fail to support us in adulthood. A classic example of this would be showing that we are hurt is a weakness. It is in fact the opposite, as only by acknowledging that there is something wrong can we hope to heal. Another example might be taking on board other people’s stuff, under the delusion that we are helping them, or that it is out job. In fact, when we do this, we disenable them from helping themselves (with all the self-empowerment that brings) and often end up doing so at the cost of our own welfare.

A good goal here is establishing boundaries between ourselves and others so there is clarity over what is and what is not acceptable. We must also go back to helping ourselves more, because only when we do that, and put ourselves on a firm supportive footing, are we truly able to help others. Doing otherwise just ends in both drowning, or falling.

Above all let’s try and develop a goal of self-kindness. The inner critic may have been useful once but now it just lives to criticise, serving no other purpose than to kick us when we are down. Self-kindness on the other hand, when properly adopted, creates a situation whereby no challenge is beyond us. For more information please call 07492-404599, or email office@eastlondontherapy.net